Hospitality as a force for good: lessons from a refugee | By Tom Brown

In hospitality, we often talk about guest experience, operational excellence and creating memorable moments. But the most profound lessons in hospitality come from stories that begin far away from a hotel lobby.

In a recent episode of Matt Talks, Armen Melkonian, a Syrian-Armenian refugee, shared his journey of survival, resilience and the extraordinary role hospitality has played in his life. These vital lessons are sure to resonate deeply with anyone in the hotel industry – watch the conversation here or keep reading for the key takeaways.

A life shaped by conflict and identity

Armen’s story begins in Syria, where he grew up in an Armenian Orthodox Christian family. Due to the war, the rise of ISIS and his sexual orientation, he was no longer safe in Syria.

In 2014, he fled to Lebanon, hoping for safety. But as an LGBTQIA+ refugee, Lebanon proved dangerous too, forcing him to conceal his identity. Through the UNHCR resettlement program, Armen eventually relocated to the Netherlands in 2015 – a country that offered him not just safety, but the chance to rebuild his life.

Since then, Armen has graduated from Hotelschool The Hague, worked several hotel jobs including housekeeping and F&B. He now works as a student recruiter for Hotelschool The Hague, focused on making education more diverse and inclusive. He sings in the Amsterdam men’s chorus and advocates for refugees and the LGBTQIA+ community. Yet his journey highlights something every hotelier knows instinctively: hospitality is not just a service – it’s a responsibility to recognize and respond to human needs.

Hospitality as balance and care

To me personally, hospitality means acknowledging one’s needs and trying to cater to them. But at the same time, of course, catering to your own needs… because if you are not in balance, how are you supposed to help and show hospitality to others? Armen says.

That balance, he explains, is essential. Only when you are cared for yourself can you extend care to others, a principle that applies as much to a front desk team as it does to a refugee navigating a new country.

Armen’s earliest lessons in hospitality came from his family. If we had unexpected guests, I would see my mom rushing to her purse, getting some cash, giving [it to] me secretly and saying, go get some stuff for our guests, he recalls. This instinct to anticipate and cater to others’ needs became a foundation not only for his career in hospitality, but for his advocacy work. In Syria, hospitality means generosity even at personal cost: Sometimes you have to serve your neighbors or your guests even if you know you’re going to be hungry in the evening.

Rebuilding life in a new country

Moving to the Netherlands required a recalibration of these lessons. While the instinct to give generously remained, Armen had to learn his limits. I had to learn to be stable myself, to see if I’m strong enough, if my needs are catered, to be able to help and support others, he explains. For hoteliers, this resonates in the daily challenge of balancing guest satisfaction with team wellbeing. Hospitality can't thrive on empty reserves.

How do you build a new life from scratch? I arrived in December… It was horrible. It was so dark and rainy, he remembers. Immersion in community was key – something that’s the hallmark of meaningful hospitality. Language classes, volunteering and joining the Amsterdam men’s chorus became key avenues for creating connections.

Hospitality in humanitarian contexts

Armen sees a direct connection between hospitality in hotels and hospitality in humanitarian contexts. Long before hospitality became an industry, it was human instinct to welcome the stranger and create connection, he says, citing the UNHCR’s definition of hospitality. Small gestures – acknowledging a newcomer at the supermarket, helping them navigate a city – can have a transformative impact.

Hoteliers are uniquely positioned to extend this philosophy: not just through service within a property, but by integrating and supporting newcomers and talented individuals across communities.

Equity and inclusion remain central to Armen’s advocacy. Highlighting the difference between equality and equity, he notes that big corporates… often say, ‘we do it equally,’ but that’s not enough. There’s a difference between equality and equity. Equity is giving people like us the tools we need in order to succeed.

For hotels, this principle applies to recruitment, training and team culture. It’s vital to create structures where every team member, regardless of background, can thrive.

Hope, action and second chances

Ultimately, Armen’s message is one of hope and action. Hope is a very powerful word… But even more powerful is action. See the other, see yourself, open arms, welcome everyone, he states. His story reminds us that hospitality is more than a business – it’s a force for second chances. By coming here to this country, I literally got a second chance of my life… Believe in the second chances. Give somebody a second chance, and they might not disappoint you.

For hoteliers, Armen’s journey is a call to lead with empathy, embrace inclusion and remember the human heart behind every guest interaction. Hospitality is not just about rooms and revenue – it’s about seeing, supporting and giving second chances, one person at a time.

To listen to Armen’s inspiring story in full, check out the Matt Talks episode.

Watch the episode

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